QUOTIDIAN BLESSING

We all have our struggles, some dark, some hidden but each more tumultuous than other. It is not easy coping with such challenges. Poetry for me is a channel to release those complicated emotions. Words I could never verbalize have always come to my rescue in the form of poetry. Whether be loss of a parent, anxiety that I will have to lose another, unforseen health situations, malicious harm of my reputation, suffering of my dear ones, anxiety at work, fear of separation from the love of my life, I turn it into something tangible so I can identify the source of my sorrow. Also, makes me feel less alone. 
Not many are blessed to do this kind of analysis and come out unscathed. Some unfortunate ones succumb and sacrifice their lives when it could be put to a higher purpose. 
I write because I am stubborn to conquer the demons within me. I write because I want to lead by example no matter how tough it is. I write to assure the people who’ve invested their hopes in me that I won’t give up. I write because I am capable of knowing the difference between a dream and dream within a dream. I write because I want to live for love. I write because I am a fighter not just a survivor. 

You can’t tell what you don’t see

All you see is strong and not the real me

There are favors I do for you

Mean nothing when you don’t have a clue

There are reasons why I try for you

Turning every hitch into something new

For you, I breathe fire and walk on water

Guess it just doesn’t matter

I fight the world for your existence

Yet you talk about me in past tense

My heart aches seeking your gratitude

Ungrateful! You’re not worth my brood!!!

Run away with me

So we can dance in the rain

Making everyone around us insane

And whiling time away carefree

Run away with me

So we can forget all troubles

Burst all our sadness bubbles

And mischievous like kids can be

Run away with me

So we can paint the town red

Put the shining stars to bed

And beautiful world we’d see

Run away with me

So we can make our dreams come true

Somewhere no one shall ever know

And at the paradise only we agree

Run away with me

So we can see a new tomorrow

Together old we can grow

And to eternal bliss have the key!

Have to make this journey

Where no one else can be

Make no promises to keep

Because it is too far to see

Will not exchange words of hope

Need to be alone and free

Cannot hold onto hands or hugs

As from reality I try to flee

There will be broken hearts

Love will be lost in a melee

Memories will be long gone

Tears won’t turn into glee

So many shattered dreams 

What I’m doing is no ecstasy

Surely don’t deserve to ask

But please wait for me…wait for me!

Last time I saw you…

You were sucking your thumb

You said you would definitely come

You were never to leave me numb.

Last time I saw you…

You cuddled and kicked in me

You told me what I was going to be

You were to set me free.

Last time I saw you…

You wanted to flatter my soul

You meant to be my life’s goal

You were to make me whole.

Last time I saw you…

You promised to always stand by

You wouldn’t make me ever cry

You were never meant to say bye….

Last time I saw you…..

I knew you couldn’t stay long

And I had to let you go

Hope always tries to stop by

Yet had to say my last goodbye

Our dreams fell apart

And I couldn’t hold on

There were few great memories

Yet had to say my last goodbye

You live inside my soul

And no one could replace

That is what keeps me alive

Yet had to say my last goodbye

I wanted to hug you tight

And embrace you forever 

Time felt eternally slow

Yet had to say my last goodbye

True love never comes easy

And fate makes fun all the time

Thought I could beat life’s mockery

Yet had to say my last goodbye

I would never be the same

And neither would my everyday

Meant to say how much I LOVE YOU

……. had to say my last goodbye!!

Somewhere in the space of times

My happiness tinkles and chimes

There are memories of your smiles

That turn true sweet little lies!
I feel invincible with courage

Despite hopes forming a mirage

Your lessons to me form collage

Making fears turn strong camouflage
It seemed like love so true

Didn’t know it was all very new

Beyond obsession and devotion it grew

Our relationship made its grand debut
Ecstasies from your emotions form an art

Even though we are worlds apart

Desire for glimpses don’t let my soul depart

Serendipity is what you are to my heart!

It is a barrage of emotions

To look for ever lasting peace

Searching for that no one sees

Sometimes it is tough love

But mostly immense pain

There are times I’d be a coward

Coiling in deep regrets

Hurting in memories made

As there won’t be any more

Life seems at a standstill

And I want to seek refuge

Courage doesn’t come easy

Hope likes to evade

Nothing is what it used to be

When there are more questions

Than answers that linger aimlessly

The pining causes great fear

Of losing what I never had

Yet, my scour continues

To find the serene divinity

In places that are unreal 

Little did I realize my God

Is a human with a golden heart

Never did I have to look as hard

Because he was with me all along! 

There is no one that has loved

Lived a life full of content

When lust replaces the intent

There are none that we call beloved!
There are dreams that wander

And some that probably come true

When desires present nothing new

Our wants grow unpleasantly yonder!
There are bonds that expect fidelity

Even though it is a truth unreal

There are pain pangs never heal

And vows become mere velleity!
There are those that never learn

Despite the façade that does unravel

The best of best get hit by gravel

Yet for better reason we always yearn!

I was 3 years old and I still remember vividly. It was cloudy, getting dark around noon, muggy like Madras (Chennai now) even though I was walking the dry dusty streets in Hyderabad. I was not alone. My second cousin’s grandfather was dragging me with one hand while he carried his own granddaughter with another. My cousin and I were nearly the same age except that she may have been five to eight kilos heavier and half foot taller; always making me wonder if I were a preemie. My 12-kilo body stumbled over and over again over on the unpaved footpath as we called it back then before learning the American ‘sidewalk’. Each time I fell, he pulled me up and dragged me harder, faster so we can reach their home in time for the downpour that threatened him. And each time, tiny particles of dust clung onto my bruised wet skin pricking me more than I could stand. My cousin on the other hand, I could tell, enjoyed wrapping her arms around her grandfather while he pecked her pink chubby cheeks every 10 seconds. I missed having my own grandfather and my grandmother couldn’t carry me anymore. He passed away five years before my parents were married and my grandmother lived with us. Most of the time, people mistook my father for my grandfather which made me upset. I missed home, my parents and grandmother even more each time I felt my arm was going to fall off because he dragged me so hard. I was angry that they sent me alone to spend time with my cousins. I was resolute to tell them never to do that again. I wasn’t even naughty like other kids, so wasn’t sure of this ‘punishment’. It was one of the longest walks of my life, yet, I learned my life’s first lesson. No matter what, no matter who, blood is always thicker than water!