On my recent trip to Hyderabad, I had experiences probably very unique to the general perception. As a result of which, I felt a certain way. These feelings are neither positive nor negative but very matter of fact on how it was for me. Not for anyone else. So any preachings about me looking at this in better light or resolving my angst by act of meditation can be saved for a later time.
There was a lot of progress around in terms of real estate, quality of life, and spending power. But what I found didn’t progress much is how women are treated. There was growth towards equality and equity regardless but it was all relative for me. And I prayed fervently that those that I went through are isolated and not applicable to any other woman but just me.
I am not sure why I am being so apologetic but any chances of sharing my ‘feeelings’ prior to here were minimized with gush of toxic buoyancy which is detrimental or worse than defeatism. Nevertheless, it does not stop me from getting my dose of therapy. Everything else is on the reciprocation of the reader if they choose to read this wholly.
My mother needed me to attend to her ancestral properties. And for all those who know how hard it is to pull that stunt together and ensure no one has already snagged those for lack to frequent attention. It was not bureaucracy or red tape that got to me, but certain engrained behaviors. And in the following instances, I was baffled how mean those neighbors were.
Despite assuring to support our endeavors and and that they would be there to help where needed, the moment our contractors would follow through, they would ask for exorbitant paybacks in cash or kind, otherwise which they’d stall all previously promised. And upon probing, their response was that they don’t speak money matters and certain dealings with women. Bummer! Here I thought, they gave me the dignity and seriousness I deserved.
All this while I thought we are all equal in eyes of God and especially humans who have carried forward God ‘s wish, or as they say. When I visited a certain place of significance, there was a huge sign-board on what women cannot wear when stepping into its threshold. There was nothing that reflected what men cannot wear unlike in many other places of faith where ‘what not to do’ is specified for both genders.
I wore brand new black jeans and a fresh off the laundry kurta, that too white to denote the purity and symbolism of visiting this place.My midrif was modestly covered just like the rest of my body. I was stopped at the door while men in ragged, dirty, most repulsive jeans and unclean attire walked right past me in hoards. No one stopped them. I might start a storm if I go into specifics but it was not the discrimination I was expecting in a place of worship.
Even though the battle for equality and equity for women has been largely won, there are traces of misrepresentation from individuals and institutions who refuse to acknowledge the progress in the community, embrace the change that will make them better, and perhaps even make them deserving entities. As always there is hope that through expressions like mine, we are able to change the world we live in.
QUOTIDIAN BLESSING 