Conceal

Often called a waste or barren land
Worthless without a child or two
If you just see a sweet, smiling face
How would you know what they go through?
It is not a curse of the Gods
Perhaps just a matter of good luck
Time ticks by and it’s still the same
What can you ever say that’s awestruck?
Science has progressed just like the mind
While you make it all a big deal and tattle
Not aware of what it is like to be this
Who can feel the deep within battle?
Each time the needle pokes your skin
With no end in sight and the bloody oozes
Besides what is fed for your curiosity
Would you know the scars and bruises?
The deprivation is not easy either
Waiting through the emptiness and silence
Be cautiously optimistic is what’s told
When is it the right time for defiance?
Kindness may not come for some
But all we pray for is some blessings
There is nothing that we won’t do
To put an end to the hurt and sins
Adopt, await or surrogate say well-wishers
Only the heart knows what it really feels
Decisions bigger than any emotions
Why would you expose what they conceal?

This is my story battling with secondary infertility. Judge me all you want but it is not by choice, neither is it genetic nor because of being on the pill or sacrificing precious time for career. I am just one of the many. There is not much data out there and even fewer that empathize. Adoption is often provided as a favorite solution but it’s not for all. It may not define us, but we still try. Insurance sucks too to the most part no matter how good the job is. I still get jitters running into few people at social gatherings who read my palm to just tell me how my husband and I won’t be parents. If someone you know is struggling with primary or secondary infertility, support them. And if you can’t support them, just don’t say anything. A friend told me once, “There is a child in your life, one way or the other.” The time will come!!

One thought on “Conceal

  1. Aparna I have been there being judged being asked multiple times , faced awkward moments .Even now I had few people making guesses on how I had my son . You are a strong lady . I believe in miracles after my own experience and from my best friends story .

    Liked by 1 person

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