Becoming Her

I am worthy. I am enough. These are some positive reinforcements that I do for myself every day. From not sharing my stories because of what people would think, to not being ashamed of my tears, it has been a long journey of self-acceptance and self-love. It doesn’t matter anymore if people assume my tendencies are narcissistic but I’ve joined millions of women like me who are leading the way.

It is not easy to transform, ignore the dishonest comments, and the constant contradictions but I am very grateful to those that gave me care when I needed to blossom, gave me that inner voice to keep my psychological buoyancy, and gave the repeated signs that my life means a lot more than what some reduced it to. Some have had it harder than I did. And I hope I can be that support for those who need me, exactly like I had those that were there in my hours of need.

We are surrounded by people that are not well-wishers. I realized that when someone congratulated me for a pregnancy I had miscarried despite knowing that mishap had occurred and very recently the same person mocked me for not dying of suicide. And my concern for my elderly mother is often a cheap target of abuse. But in any circumstance, I have become that seed that when people try to bury becomes a sapling. This is true not just for me, but anyone who is fighting battles that are not visible to the naked eye. I just seem to be that dot of survival along with those who ascertain positivity.

When I write these lessons learned in my life it is mostly to celebrate success of life and existence. And sometimes I have to impose on you, to see the growth from where I began to where I am today. From an era of body shaming, and wounds to my wisdom, to an epoch of grit, it has been a wonderful voyage. Who knows what the destination looks like but this path has been nothing less than nirvana. I always wondered why some women like my mother and girlfriends epitomize zen despite the mayhem caused to their mind and soul. I hope to be them some day soon. Their nonchalance is admirable.

How is any woman supposed to overcome gender bias, discrimination or violence when their own are shoving them off course. And how will I stop sounding like a broken record, or mostly unforgiving and never forgetting about the injustice that perpetuates to strong women. When women fail to uplift their own tribe, what are we going to achieve by smashing patriarchy? If we don’t overcome this native intolerance, the path forward is going to be most painful.

I don’t know what it’s like to be anything else. In between all of the opinions and the formidable, there is one thing that matters; “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” This is my once. A masterstroke. It is never the same, with ups, downs and sometimes falling on my face. Nevertheless, “I am proud of the woman I am today, because I went through one hell of a time becoming her.” Hope you become too. Everyone deserves a “Becoming Her.”

Published by Quotidian Blessing

InfoSec Director|WIT Mentor-Protege Vice Chair|ATA Convention Women's Forum Chair|Published Poet

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