Matter of Choice


“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” Sometimes we are presented with no choice or rather a stand that one might take in order to avoid a throng of choices. Perhaps, it is also a test of our integrity on what we choose or not. Today I am contemplative of such reflections with cynicism and tetchiness.

When some feel stifled from my existence, I wish they have some choice to drift away. Since my presence never had any meaning to those that I thought it did, I am content knowing my absence wouldn’t matter. Yet, they don’t have much choice but to endure my aura of wit.

When there are beliefs that my life is a powerhouse of gloom, I wish there is a choice to bolster that it is. But when I leave myself no choice to be cheerful and resilient, the exemplar of their positivity is somehow overhauled. And none have a choice besides seeing me cackle through their misery.

When I see pro-choice and pro-life friends argue about the moralities of life, I wish I had that choice too. When I was at the age when I could make many ‘mistakes’ with my body, I didn’t and neither did I have any ‘accidents’. Today, science and God present me with no options.

When there is no choice left but to love myself, and I am perceived as a narcissist, I wish I could broadcast to the world it is not a bad thing. Instead of doing others a favor of not being one, I just end up feeling more entertained about myself. Then, there is nothing left to prove.

When I am conferred favored Telugu cuss words, I wish I have the choice of snapping back at every orifice that is spelled. Despite having remarkable vocabulary and being a troublemaker myself, I am bound by the respect for the elderly, even if they are a day older.

When life tests me in adversity, there is nothing much I can do to avoid. There are friends that I’ve earned that leave me with no choice, as they hang by my side from the beginning to the end as if it were the only thing they’d ever do.

When there were times, when I used to be body-shamed, I wish I had a choice to change instantly how I looked. Instead I left myself no choice to evolve into the person I always want to be. And now I feel younger than I ever did. Even if someone makes the choice to make me feel otherwise, there is not much to be.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” – Amelia Earhart. Everything is a matter of choice even when you think there is none.

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