I refuse to call it ignorance especially when medical professionals are involved. I wasn’t married at that time but nothing has changed with my personality since then really except whatever I had probably had heightened. I had gone to a third cousin’s spouse’s second cousin’s daughter’s house warning ceremony. Yes, we Indians have an extended meaning of extended family. It was a beautiful home very carefully architecture and interior decorated. It was a sight to remember.
I was in my full element as I was still acquainted with the pharmaceutical industry and was so happy to have met medical professionals who spoke my native language and I was thrilled. Later in the night, we all say around the fire pit sharing stories that made us who we are. Everyone talked about how their spouses or kids inspired them. At that time I had neither.
When my turn came, I spoke from my heart not fearing I’d be judged as the majority were all women and medical professionals. Well, you must understand that I was the most misjudged kid and young adult. So I didn’t think that people who’ve been in the United States for almost three decades can ever not have a progressive mind. I was wrong.
While on college I was inspired by many gay and lesbian friends who taught me that true meaning of love. And how love is love, no matter what. Although I was very curious about them being that way, they would never misinterpret or dismiss my questions. With the help of mentor I started supporting the LGBT community especially Indians where the myths and controversies supersede human existence.
I wrote for the Encyclopedia of Sexuality and Cultures in support of the demographic. During that group sharing. I had shared these experiences of how my LGBT friends contributed more to my success than heterosexual. I hate to separate that way while I write but I need to summarize the aftermath of that incident which was not just annoying but parlayed the inadequacies amongst the rest of us.
So, my third cousin’s spouse’s second cousin’s daughter who is a medical professional somehow found the opportunity to talk to my mom who was in India at that time. Apparently she got straight to the point without any pleasantries and said that my mom needs to look into my mental situation as I may be gay. My parents were looking into marriage alliances for me after my own admission of getting out of a sorry relationship.
She panicked and called me. I remember to this day. That particular phone call cost her Rs. 3000. My mom is someone who chose to travel in packed buses for Rs.1 until she was 70 years old and no longer could board the bus. She was worried that I turned gay and how they would have to hide in shame if people come to know. I calmed her down. I must give her credit for quickly understanding the situation after I relayed the information. She understood that being LGBT is by nature not nurture.
Few years after this incident when I was rejecting and getting rejected by potential grooms, she calmly said that if I wish to, I can marry a Hindu or a white girl. Restrictions regardless but I thought that was super cute for her to say. Going back to the incident, it pained me a lot to hear that stories about me traveled across all continents to relatives that probably never met in my life or will ever.
I sincerely hope that they’ve now enlightened themselves to be better humans. We have to evolve from a culture where we are comfortable with two men holding guns to being in a stable successful relationships. I am not any of LGBTQ but I’ll support the very thoughts that everyone must have equal rights to survive anywhere in the world. As someone aptly said, “Being gay is like being left-handed. Some people are, most people aren’t, and nobody really knows why. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just the way things are.” I was an ally when I knew just a little and I will always be.